I was out with my 92-year-old Mum today helping her buy and carry groceries when I noticed a familiar girl. In typical fashion, I chatted with the classy broad to get a sense of her person in hopes of hearing a bell ring, but more importantly, to impress Mum by showing her my slick way with the ladies.
Things got a tad shitty, though. She said, "You may recognize me from my work. I'm an actress of the pornographic sorts." I was stunned and dropped the 5 lbs. of mayo I was holding at the time. My embittered Mum clutched her 4-inch wooden cross necklace and turned away. These days Mum only remembers the opening theme to Wheel Of Fortune, so I'm left to dwell in my private shame with the star of Construction Seduction and Plastered Asses vol. 7. I guess that explains the box of adult diapers in the harlot's cart.
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