Dick "Down Ass Nigga" Cheney

I don't know why it's so popular to hate on Dick Cheney in rap songs, typically leftist publications and amongst try-hard, hipster college kids. What's my verdict? Haters gon' hate.

This guy's self-made and went second in command for eight years. He's got the government on his side, as well as business tied directly to the policies he helped create. Liberal whiners will scream, "Conflict of interest!" as if they wouldn't hook themselves up with a little something something in his shoes. You get a job at the bank, you steal pens and add a zero to your bank balance every now and then. You work for the president, you do a little war profiteering.

Only in America can you be challenged for striving and attaining the American Dream. That's the freedom we're allowed. What irks me most, is rappers and black America's refusal to take to Dick's charming and hood / street ways. If it's all about keepin' it real, making paper, stomping out the competition, and torturing your enemies, then Dick's the trillest motherfucker I know. When's the last time you heard of the former V.P. backpedaling or backing down from an accusation? Not ever.

Down ass things Dick Cheney does:

For one, his name is Dick. This is the Holy Grail of alpha male names. Unlike cowardly loser 50 Cent — who is such a bad gangster he's shot on the regular — Dick shot his friend in the face. He doesn't take shit from flaky wanksters, no matter how far back they go. He cements his status as a true 21th century icon by being politically correct and owning a lesbian dog or something. Whenever he does an interview, he strains every muscle in his face not to burst out cursing, while always taking the contrarian's stance, bad-mouthing the opposition, and, I shit you not, slyly leaning back in a chair while doing it.

These are just some of the things that cement Dick "Like a Pringles Can" Cheney's status as a Platinum Pimp with degrees in Player.

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